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Aslaam Alakum Everybody wants his or her wedding day to be beautiful and perfect. Planning a wedding can be very frustrating, time consuming, and hectic. Planning a walima (an Islamic wedding ceremony and reception) should be a wonderful and precious experience, not a frantic mess. Getting married Islamically is a very simple and personal process between a man and a woman, however, adding your own special touch and sharing the moment with friends and family can make your moment even more special. Here is a basic list of things you will need to accomplish before you unite with your significant other. You want to make sure that everyone who wants to help out with your big day all sits down for a formal meeting. Decide to have your meeting in a comfortable setting maybe at your home or in a nice restaurant. You want your family and friends to be able to open up and share any ideas that they might have. The people that you will want to consider inviting to your meeting would be the bride, groom, bride's and groom's parents, siblings and friends. You want to make sure that this meeting is beneficial, so you want to discuss all of the most important aspects of your walima. · Do you want a large or small walima · A fancy formal affair or a simple gathering · What role is everyone going to play in the walima Finding a Wedding/Walima Coordinator You want to make sure that a wedding coordinator has been designated for your special occasion. Some things that you might want to consider is, if the person is professional, wise and experienced. You might even want to consider having a parent or someone who has knowledge of planning a walima. You want to make sure that the person can handle stress while under pressure and that they are tolerable in tough situations. Has the bride, groom and their families agreed that an actual wedding planner should be in charge of the arrangements? Has everyone reached an agreement that the coordinator will have the final say over all the arrangements associated with the walima, following the Shura (consultation) with significant parties? The Shariah Requirements You want to make sure that a Shariah requirements committee has been selected. This committee will be responsible: · To ensure the details of the marriage contract. · Discuss with the bride and groom what kinds of food will be served during the walima and what type of caterer to book. Because Muslims are not permitted to eat pork or food that is not halal than you should make sure that the caterer knows these details. · Make sure that the caterer pertains to the budget · Sign a written contract with the caterers · You want to make sure that the caterers have been reminded about your requirements but you don't want to bother them too much. · Make sure that the payment has been paid in full. · If your caterers are not going to be serving the food, make sure that you have someone who will. · Make sure that you have finalized all of the marriage contract details, including the Mahr and conditions to be put into the contract. · Find out your state's requirements for marriage. Make sure that all documents from the legal perspective have been taken care of. · Make sure that the bride and groom have taken care of any immigration issues that may interfere with their marriage. The Budget You want to make sure that the walima is budgeted by a responsible older accountant. This person may be a mom or dad of the bride or groom, whoever this person may be you want to make sure that they will handle the expenses responsibly. This person will be responsible for: · Deciding on the budget for the wedding, how much is everything going to cost (food, entertainment, decorations, services, any extra touches) · Putting the budget in writing. · Making sure that the bride and groom's families have agreed with the money that is going to be spent for the occasion. · Notifying everyone who is head of coordinating the different aspects of the walima on how much they will be able to spend. · Giving each committee section the right amount of money that they will need. · Providing a final financial budget record for the family at the end of the walima to keep for their personal records. Hall/ Location of the walima · You want to make sure that your walima is the perfect location. This location can be a reception hall, a park, a Mosque or anywhere else you would love to have the perfect occasion. · Make sure that the price of the hall or rental location is within the budget. · Make sure that if you book the hall you won't have to accept their catering services unless you wish to. · Now book the hall. Make sure that you book the hall at least 3-6 months in advance. This way you can make sure that your position is safe and secure. · Sign a written agreement/contract with the hall. · Make sure that you continue to follow up with the hall to make sure that you still have your designated date and time. · Take care of all the seating arrangements. An Islamic walima, as with any Islamic affair, has a separation of men and women. The women should not be able to see the men and vice versa. Make sure that there is enough room at the location to inhabit both sexes. · Make sure that you and everyone understands the rules and regulations of the hall. You want to make sure that you or your guests respect the rules and do not overstep any boundaries. Make sure that the owners give you a written copy of the rules for your records. · Be sure to pay for your services in full. · Makes sure that you have hospitable workers at the walima to ensure that your guests are comfortable. Here are some things to look for in a hall · Is your walima going to be in a convenient location? You do not want to have your walima in a far out or confusing location. You want to make sure that your location is easy to access. · You want to make sure that your hall is close to affordable hotels and motels. This will help your out of town guest have easy access to the location, Inshallah. · Will the hall have enough space to perform prayer during the walima? Salat may fall during the time of your special occasion, so you want to make sure that your guests are able to pray at the proper time. · Consider having your walima in a hall with a large enough washroom in order to accommodate your guests. Remember if salat falls during your walima than you want your guests to be able to make wudu conveniently. · The hall must be a clean facility. Make sure that the owners have thoroughly cleaned the hall before your guests arrive. Notify them if you do discover anything unappealing in the facility. · Check out the maximum capacity of people allowed. If you are having a large gathering, make sure that the hall can accommodate your guests without any fire hazards. · Make sure you know the fire exits. Examine the facility to make sure that your guests will have easy access to an exit if a fire happens to break out. · Will your guests have free or paid parking? If the parking does cost a fee than you should inform your guests before they arrive to avoid any altercations. Decorations If you are not doing the decorations yourself than you just might want to select a decorations committee to do the deed. This committee will be in charge of: · Picking out the decorations after they have thoroughly discussed the type of decorations that they bride and groom will want. · Buying the decorations and keep a record of the cost spent. · Making sure that the hall is decorated before the walima. · Cleaning up all decorations afterwards. Selecting a program committee The program committee will make sure that the walima goes smoothly. They will be responsible for: · Booking the Imam/Sheik or a person who is authorized to officiate the marriage. · Make sure that all audio and visual equipment is set up correctly. · Have written programs for the guests. · Make sure that the program runs according to schedule. Clothing You might want to consider picking out a clothing committee or doing this part for yourself. Here are some things to consider: · Measure the bride and groom's garments. You may want a tailor or someone with experience to handle this part. · Make sure that all payments have been taken care of and the delivery of the clothing will be on time. · You want to receive the clothing early, maybe a few days or even weeks before the walima to ensure that they are made to the bride and groom liking. · Arrange for any changes to be made if necessary. · Clothing needs to be ready for the bride and groom the day of the walima. Invitations You want to make sure that an invitation committee has been selected. This is one of the most important aspects of the walima. You want guests to be their to share your special day, so you want to make sure that the invitations are sent out early enough, however, not too early so that your guests may forget. You don't want to send your invitations out too late either because short notice can cause you to lose a large portion of your guests. · Decide what kinds of decorations you want on the cards. You should highly consider placing verses of the Qu'ran on the cards. · Place a map on the back of the card. You can also place a separate sheet of paper with either a map or directions to the location inside of the invitations. · Spell names correctly on the invitations. · Arrange for the cards to be printed. · Make sure that you have all of the names and addresses of the guests on the cards. · Send the invitations out to your guests. Make sure that the bride and groom understand their roles in Islam and that they abide to them as best they can. Men and women should understand their responsibilities in the household. This will help the bride and groom build a stronger relationship with Allah (SWT) and with each other. You are now ready to start planning for the day that your religion will be complete. May Allah (SWT) send peace and many blessings to you and your spouse during your life together. |
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